I looked at the calendar the other day and came to a sudden realization – there are only 10 weeks of school left! Not counting spring break, this school year will be over in just 2-1/2 months and I am so not ready to think about summer plans yet.
There’s a specific reason I looked at the calendar, though, but I’m a little embarrassed to admit it. You see, I was actually sitting on the couch watching tv one evening, and I had a strange thought. In my mind, I flashed forward about 8 years to when both my boys will have graduated from Fresno Christian High School and be off to college. I thought about sitting on the couch then, with them not sleeping in their bedroom just down the hall, but off on their own in a dorm somewhere. Not at home. Away from me.
And I felt such a huge wave of sadness and loneliness! It was so deep and real. (I swear I’m not crazy.)
You see, it’s a mom thing. I love being a mom. I love my boys. Even with their nonstop energy, nonstop talking and nonstop stinkiness, I love them. I love hanging out with them, chatting with them, doing things with them, driving them around, helping them with homework, and watching them in all their goofy glory.
I know other moms can relate because they tell me. They tell me that no matter how hard it gets, they love being a mom – being YOUR mom. No matter how much attitude you give them. No matter how many times you forget something at home. No matter how much they have to nag you. No matter how many times they have to turn your socks inside out and check your pockets before doing laundry. No matter how many nights they stay up waiting for you to come home. No matter how many practices they watch and games they cheer on and recitals they attend. No matter what, the love is there.
And when you leave, the emptiness will be there.
Looking at the calendar reminded me just how fast the days, weeks and years are flying by. And no matter how much I joke about moving to Paris when my boys are grown and gone, I will miss not having them in the house and not seeing them every single day.
I may be getting ahead of myself, but I know that day will come. Until then, I’m going to try to complain less and savor the little moments with them as much as I can.
And if you can, try to savor your parents, too. Be gentle with them. They are special. They love you. They are so very proud of you.
But maybe turn your socks inside out.
~ Silva@thefeather, Instagram @thefeatheronline and Facebook @thefeatheronline.
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