International student leader Serena Zhao shares experiences, challenges peers

Senior Xiyuan (Serena) Zhao is an international student at Fresno Christian Schools, one of many participants in the AmeriStudent program. AmeriStudent LLC. works with incoming international students to secure a safe homestay and offer support through cultural and educational integration.

Dry, hot air blew on my face as I walked out of the Los Angeles International Airport. The pedestrians, minding their own business, didn’t notice my existence. My bags were heavy and I stood at the curb looking. In a moment, I saw my mom walking toward me, taking my backpack off my shoulder and then saying, “Welcome home.”

My imagination deceived me.

Standing in the pick-up location and observing the pedestrians, I put my sunglasses on so no one can see the tears forming in my eyes. Standing ten thousand miles away from home, nothing is familiar.

Daunted by the task ahead, I realized no one was picking me up from the airport; I needed to find my own way to my new home in Fresno. I took a deep breath and walked toward the taxi queue.

Two months before high school started, my mom started a serious conversation with me while I was still in China. After pondering over the differences in education between the the U.S. and China, my mom decided our family had enough capability to provide better education for me. She already connected with one study-abroad agency in order to gain information about school locations and host families.

She was convinced to send her only child away.

Sending me off from the airport in China, I remember my mom clearly stating, “I will do my best to pave the way for your future life, but you have to go forward by yourself.”

Her words stuck with me from then on. It converted to my one responsibility to take ownership of my education and future. I treasure every minute of studying abroad because it reminds me of my opportunity to be an international student.

At the time, I didn’t realize the responsibility I was about to undertake.

At the age of 14, I needed to escape the academic pressure. After asking some of my friends, I assured myself high school in the United States is much easier than high school in China. Waiting for the boarding time, I secretly delighted that finally, I didn’t need to live under the supervision of my parents.

My troubles soon began upon arrival. Dragging three enormous luggage bags alone, I waved for a taxi multiple times but after the drivers looked at my destination they all shook their heads and drove away. Finally, one driver stopped in front of me and put my suitcases into the trunk. The driver looked at my phone and told me that my destination is three and a half hours away.

Riding through strange roads, I never quit staring at the phone’s GPS, making sure the driver was taking me to the right place. I didn’t know a single person in this foreign country. If anything happened, nobody would know.

What if I got kidnapped? Wild fears swirled in my mind.

The first week of school in America went fast with many obstacles. I had to quickly adapt to the class environment with different class sizes, teachers, and most importantly, language. In China, there are at least 50 students in one class and we have ten classes per grade. For context, my junior high in China consisted of more than two thousand pupils.

Early during my homestay I rarely carried on conversations with my host family. Besides the language barrier, I felt awkward living in their house. They and their three children have a completely different living style than me.

As an only child in China, I lived in my mom’s house alone as she is often busy with work. I enjoy my time alone or at least prefer living alone to the changes and compromises that living with others entails.

At first, I thought I could just escape to my room as a comfort zone.

One afternoon, my host dad knocked on my bedroom door. He told me that as a big sister I should spend more time interacting with the children. I wanted to say to them that having little siblings is uncomfortable for me because I am an only child. In a typical Chinese family, having two children at home used to be against the one-child policy, so the concept of big family togetherness was a cultural misunderstanding.

Although I had many words to say, my English wasn’t fluent. Escaping was the easiest thing to do in this scenario, so I told my host family maybe I should move to another family.

My host family always say that I am their Chinese daughter. I didn’t think it was true at first, but the ice began to break as they continued to knock on my door, and I followed without words to express my discomfort. On every occasion, they introduced me as their family member and chose our group photo on the Christmas card every year.

So I chose to stay.

From the introvert girl who stays in her room to the girl who enjoys challenges, my personality started to change. I started to attend activities with my host family because I failed to find words to politely refuse. In the end, I grew acclimated to American culture and became better in building relationships with others.

After four years of living with an American family with AmeriStudent homestay agency, senior Serena Zhao shares stories which helped bridge cultural differences in the following podcast.

I learned that whenever there is a conflict, I shouldn’t silently endure, but speak up; only having conversations will solve the problems.

After a time, I decided to take ownership of my experience in the United States and adopt the culture as my own. In turn, I had to largely relinquish my opportunities in China — I am not going back.

I gave up my spot to attend an elite high school and university in China forever, in order to study English and experience global diversity in the United States. In China, once you leave, you are not allowed reenter the educational system.

Before I left for the United States, I was challenged and performing well in Chinese schools. However, despite winning awards in Chinese writing, I still want to strengthen my ability to write in English, raising my high expectations in both languages. Some day I hope to return to China as an even stronger writer.

After a few years of learning the language in the United States, I pushed myself to continue advancing my English writing, knowledge and ability to confront academic challenges.

Throughout my junior year, I joined a research group through Pioneer Academics. Working closely with four peers and professor, I conducted a research paper in “Examining the communication styles of Chinese vloggers through ‘TikTok”.

In my summer of junior year, I  sharpened myself by going to summer school at the University of Chicago and studying Civic Engagement in a four-week seminar.

Even though my English was getting better, all the preparations for college became complex. Because of my English language deficiency, as international students, we must all take the Test of English as a Foreign Language (TOEFL) test on top of the SAT.

I gradually became an effective multitasker; preparing for the next challenge meanwhile fighting the current one.

Every college has a ranking and my parents in China only heard about the top schools and Ivy League schools. Therefore, they continue to put a lot of pressure on me. While my mom maintains a traditional Chinese perspective, I want to honor her expectations, but also navigate the realities of test scores.

However, that won’t stop me from pursuing my passions and applying to my dream colleges. I plan to enroll in universities which have majors in international relations, communication and/or psychology.

Both taxing and rewarding, I want to share my story as motivation for my peers; I challenge everyone to strive for something better to support each other through our coming-of-age years. Please share your challenges with me so I can also be inspired and encouraged through your strength.

Xiyuan (Serena) Zhao is an international student from Shenzhen, China. Shenzhen is one of the three national financial centers, located in the Southeast part of China, in Guangdong province. To learn more about Zhao’s personal experience, read COLUMN: Serena Zhao shares American culture experience.

To learn more about the international students at Fresno Christian, read Campus students celebrate Chinese New Year, Feb. 5. Interested parents, students or agents can also contact Brooke Stobbe, the AmeriStudent International Program Coordinator via email.

For another column, read COLUMN: President strives for inclusivity or COLUMN: SAT preparation. 

Serena Zhao can be reached via email.

The slideshow below included images from Serena Zhao’s life in China and Fresno Christian.

Gallery • 10 Photos